"What If"

Wrote this a couple weeks ago... but it's totally blogworthy, ESPECIALLY after reading the last blog. I did know what was coming LOL (my new favorite texting phrase, LOL... I LOL it).

I really have no time to be on stupid MySpace, but all I've been doing for two days is studying the properties and functions of iMRNA.... Yeah, do you know what they are? I still don't, and the test is friggin' tomorrow. I am so over it.
So..... I had a very funny "happening" this weekend... one that I've been expecting but was still suprised... and it's been on my mind, so I figure a few minutes of venting will do a girl some good.
I found out that I am a "What If" girl. I had never used this term until describing my recent situation to a friend... and it's PERFECT.
I got a call from an ex this weekend... yes, a 3:00 a.m. call (We all know what that means), but from a person that I NEVER hear from and have not expected to hear from for over a year. YES, he is on my dating extravaganza list... YES, he really pissed me off when we were dating (for numerous reasons)... YES, he is ENGAGED now and obviously having some sort of cold feet... and YES, I answered the phone.
Now, I'm sure that this big burly man was wasted, and maybe doesn't even remember the entire convo. But as a curious person, I asked him approximately 1 billion questions to figure out why the heck my phone is ringing again all of a sudden.
Basically, after an hour of long awkward silences and a ton of bickering (we did that constantly, which is obviously part of the reason we are no longer together), I basically figured out I am a "What If". He is engaged, and happy or so I thought. She lives far away, but they make it work. He thinks she is nice, funny, smart, going to be a good wife and mom (Oh, and he kept mentioning that he wants to have kids... hopefully this poor girl is ready to be a mommy to some very large children with exceptional teeth)... But he's just "scared". Says he's scared of getting divorced, because that's what everyone does. (My silent observation at that point was that cheating, which is what he was proposing, often leads to just that... DIVORCE. Crazy stuff, I know.)
What was also so funny about this convo was his audacity to LECTURE me about my life... He asked me question after question about who I had dated since him, DETAILS about those people, why I liked them, if I treated them the same, labeling each of them "douche bags" because "obviously" they aren't as cool as he is... Like he couldn't believe I would EVER move on. Well think twice. NO, I am not engaged... NO, I haven't even come close to that... and NO, I still don't have even great taste in men... BUT NO, I am not sitting around waiting for your call. Sorry big guy.
Anyways, nothing happened and I ABSOLUTELY did NOT go over there. But the call was very entertaining. "What if" things were different? "What if" we had worked out? "What if" I were about to be the next Mrs. Shaved Head/Chicklet Teeth/Chokehold/Fart Joke?
Well, it seems that most likely my future husband would be calling some random ex girlfriend to "come hangout" like old times. Man, that would suck.
I am not angry or upset by the call. I'm not going to say anything (or at least name any names), but I hope that I am never in that situation... from either end. I don't want my significant other to someday be calling some old fling and freaking out about her life... and I DON'T want any regrets when I make the decision to spend my life with someone. So for that reason, I will wait. Thank you very much.