It's been almost six months since I drove Aaron to Omaha for the beginning of this deployment. I saw him three times after that in North Carolina... and I haven't seen his face or held his hand since August. I am whiny, and angry, and helpless, and so so sad. I know that I am not the first to go through a deployment... and I won't be the last. But that does not mean that it hurts any less...
My mom's blog says to pray... and I keep trying to do that, but I just feel selfish and stupid. And I don't know what to say. And I just keep praying the same thing over and over. And he's still not home.
I have been single, or basically single, my whole life. And yes, I have been lonely. But I didn't know what it was like to be fulfilled... I was so independent and always capable (probably too capable) of taking care of myself. But now I know. And I want him back. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to start anymore projects, just for distraction. I don't want to go out. I don't want ONE MORE PERSON to tell me that it will be over soon. I just want him back.
Please, God, bring him home. Please please please.
